How do you develop a new identity, and why would you? Who you are affects where you work, how you live, and who you spend time with. Learn how to make the shift to a new version of yourself to change your life.

All the Parts of You

The real you is a living system of moving parts that work together. When they’re cohesive your mind and body agree on reality. Your identity is based on roles, beliefs, habits, feelings, memories, and past experiences.

• Social Roles
• Body Identity
• Personality Traits
• Values and Beliefs
• Habitual Behaviors
• Emotional Patterns
• Goals and Intentions

Why Feelings Aren’t Facts

All emotions are valid, but not all interpretations reflect reality. Name your feelings to ground yourself before responding. Discomfort isn’t always a sign that something’s wrong or that you need to do anything.

Example Scenario

1 – Your boss says something with a sharp tone.
2 – Your body tightens up from early interpretation.
3 – You feel anxious about what your boss might mean.
4 – You breathe, label it “anxiety”, and practice acceptance.
5 – No matter what happens, you’ve got you, and it will work out.

Discomfort and Dissonance

Emotional discomfort comes from conflicts in your system or environment. Feelings are hurt by unmet needs, desires, or expectations. The pressure is a trigger for transforming your beliefs, behaviors, or situations.

How to Change Your Identity

Step 1: Mindfulness
Observe and analyze your identity with compassion.

Step 2: Self-Regulation
Identify and process your feelings to reinforce coherence.

Step 3: Clarify Conflicts
Look for inconsistencies in values, beliefs, and experiences.

Step 4: Question Beliefs
Consider alternative views related to the identity you’re shifting.

Step 5: Rewire Behaviors
Align what you do, say, think, and feel everyday with the new you.

Step 6: Experiment Safely
Test out new roles, routines, and realities to recognize alignment.

Step 7: Reflect and Reinforce
Review progress, adapt to discomfort, and continue on.

Conclusion

Your identity affects how you live and can be adjusted. Personalities are multi-layered bodies, beliefs, and memories. Question old beliefs and adjust your habits to be aligned with the version of you that makes life feel true.